down and out... one hand out of commission

i can only type with one hand, wrist hurts, neck hurts, back hurts, leg hurts.  i miss work, i'm tired of hurting and feeling like a walking accident.  oh well... not a lot of choices left.   i've fallen off of my food plan and gained 6 pounds.  i really want to get back on track... oh well, soon, right?

It's been a rough week...

I had a fall at work on Tuesday and have had a rough week.  Injured my left arm which means one handed typing and time in a sling.  Thank goodness no broken bones, just bruising and swelling.

I've had no weight loss progress this week.   I gained two pounds and lost it again... but no real weight loss, which is really disappointing.   It's sure hard to maintain good spirits when the progress stops.  Physically I haven't been able to work out, I'm on pain meds and am having problems sleeping... which is why I'm writing this at 2:25 a.m.   It's so hard to stay on track when things are going sideways.  I'm also waiting for exam results for a really difficult course I took through work... to give you an idea, only 16% of the class passed the midterm... so you can understand my stress level waiting for the final exam results. 

Game plan: 
- accept that I have no control over what happens with my exam, pass or fail, what's done is done.  If I pass, that's wonderful.  If I fail, I can re-write.
- stay on top of my meds and try to keep my pain under control.
- rest, try to get some sleep

- take care of myself, especially when I feel down in the dumps, which for me mean have a shower, get dressed, eat from my meal plan... eventually things will come together.

- continue to write out my game plan, it really does help, sooner or later the weight will start to move again. 

- remember that my arm will heal, just needs a little time.

- deep breaths, one day at a time.

I'm having WHAT??

Another week, another week of meal planning... er... hmm... too busy to shop this weekend.  Didn't pack or plan anything ahead of time. I'm trying to make good choices from what's available, and working a 12 hour day (and commuting). 

Ok... we've been here before.  Let's see how we can make it work with what we've got.  The breakfast and 2-3 snacks I've got down pat. 

Today's lunch and dinner... how to make a healthy main meal when you haven't gone shopping?   Ok... what's available?   The only meat we have are smokies.  Hmmm.  
Tasty, sure... but they are pretty greasy and will hike my calorie count   Some leftover bagged salad... that works.   Make the best of a bad situation, 1/2 smokie with salad for lunch, cooked in the microwave and blotted with paper towel to soak up a lot of the grease.   Same thing for dinner.   Stick with my regular lunch and regular dinner.   The calories for the smokie are only about 300, the fat is up there at 26 grams of fat.  

Not the best day I've had, but certainly not the worst either.   I guess sometimes all you can do it so make the best choices out of what you have available.  The smokie was a good change of pace and sure made the greens a lot easier to choke down!!   Blotting the grease from the meat really does help. I've stayed away from the salad dressing today just thinking about the extra grease in the meat was more than I could handle.  

All things in sensible amounts and in moderation makes it a "real life" choice.

Promoting the Blog...

I'm really new to blogging, not sure how it all works yet but I'm trying to promote the blog... see if anyone else wants to share information about weight loss, read/review each other's progress... that kind of thing.

So I started trying to promote my blog in different places, my hope is that when someone searches in google, that they will be able to find my blog.   It's a weird feeling... a little bit like stepping out of a change room in a brand new bathing suit.   I'm feeling a little bit shy here... but what the heck...let's do it!!

My Sleeves are Getting Longer

Weird right?  

Now I'm the first to admit that I have a long way to go on my weight loss journey.  I've lost 30 pounds since my heaviest weight (22 since July 1st) and no one has noticed, except my husband - although who knows, he may just be playing along to keep the peace, smart man that he is.

I told a co-worker of my weight loss and she said she could really see it in my face... it reminds me of John Pinette's comedy routine where he lost 100 lbs and they told him the same thing.  He asks "How big was my head?  Was it the size of a manhole cover or something?"  I guess people are trying to be supportive when they say things like that.  

Oh well, nonetheless... while others may not be able to tell the progress that I am making, I'm really starting to see a change.   I am sleeping with only 2 pillows in the bed, like a normal person, I don't need to be propped up anymore.  I'm not getting heartburn and waking up in the middle of the night having to take Zantac or Pepto for relief.  I'm wearing a smaller pant size (already) and they are starting to feel loose too.   I was really surprised when  I put on a favorite nightshirt last night and noticed  that the sleeves are getting longer??  What the heck?   The sleeves are getting longer?  Weird right?  Sleeves don't get longer...  and then I realized... the sleeves aren't getting longer, I'm getting smaller!!  I had a couple of quiet, private tears as I chuckled to myself.  What a silly thing to cry about. 

Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions... my sleeves are longer!  I am still smiling.  

Lesson:  Enjoy the small changes.  
If we wait for the big ones such as people noticing or making a fuss, we may be waiting a long, long time.   If we rely on others to make us feel good, we may be sorely disappointed as they don't always know the kind of feedback that is helpful to us.  We need to find our positive self and the motivation inside ourselves.   Find the little joys, stay positive and keep your sense of humour. 

Check out John Pinette's video, he's wonderful... 

It's one of THOSE mornings...

I'm tired, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to have a shower, I don't want to move.  My arms hurt from hauling myself around in the wheelchair and I want to go back to bed.   Coffee isn't helping, although I'm too tired to drink it and I have a half a cup sitting there getting colder by the second.  I'm in a miserable headspace this morning.... now it's time to take 10 minutes to figure out why.  If I don't... who knows what kind of trouble I might get myself into today.

Ok... so yesterday I had to meet up with my husband at the pharmacy after work as he needed to get his prescription refilled.  We were then going to go out for dinner... this was at 8:45 pm by the time I got off of work and was able to meet him there.  I know my husband, he will agree to go out for dinner and then complain about the price, the food, that we could have made the same thing at home so much cheaper and so much better... I knew we were going down that road when he made a comment about the leftover lasagna in the fridge at home... years of marraige have taught me that this was the beginning of an evening of him complaining and me getting grouchy.  I knew it could lead to bickering and that there was the possibility of me making poor choices because I was tired and cranky.  Instead I opted to just go home... he was surprised, but I think he was secretly happy.  

The biggest mistake I made was coming home and just going to bed without dinner.   I was only a little hungry and I was super tired.   I didn't want leftover lasagna and I was too tired to make salad.. more salad... ugh for salad... I went to bed and he had leftovers.  He was mad at me anyhow... felt I was trying to punish him for making one little comment... whatever... maybe I was, maybe I was just making an educated guess based on past experience... maybe some of each.   More likely, I was sore and tired from the wheelchair and work.   I was cranky and being lazy.   This morning I'm still a little cranky and a little lazy.  These are two dangerous feelings for me, it leads to not caring and comforting myself with food.

Game plan...
I need a game plan... I need to get up and get ready for work, I need to pack a healthy lunch.  I need to make it through the day... and hopefully feel better while I'm doing it.  

Step one... my step one was to fall back on my base plan... don't eat or drink anything off of my food plan when I'm feeling like a miserable old crow. 

Ok... I had a hard boiled egg and a clementine (a small tangerine) with my morning coffee.   Now I'm starting to feel a little better... but still in a lousy mood... hmm.   I'll take my organic granola mixed with bran buds and my yogurt for snack, my 10 grapes and Baby Bell cheese,  my 10 almonds and banana... what can be for lunch?   Ok.  I'll get up off of my (comfy chair) and plan out my lunch, think about my dinner.   Figure out what to wear to work... ugh.   I want to be lazy, I want to take a short cut.. I want to get away with something... I want to be indulged.  Ok, I'll skip the shower and just wash up and do my hair... I don't do this very often, I'm a shower a day kinda gal.. but if I'm going to have a day where something goes sideways... I'll let it be the shower and plan out a nice relaxing bath tonight when I get home, relax in the bubbles tonight.  

So, to recap... I'm going to stay on my food plan, can't go off it on a bad day, can only treat on a good day.  I'm going to plan out some healthy foods for my day and toss in a pickle (on the plan, but I don't normally have one.) 
I'm going to indulge my mood (just a little) by skipping my morning shower.  I'm going to reward myself at the end of my day with a bubble bath.

Alright... I have a plan, now I'll get up, make a 2nd cup of coffee and pack my food for the day, get dressed and get on with it.  Deep breath and here we go.
Hugs.

Hey I've Got a Good Idea!

I find my biggest problem seems to be stress or pain. I find comfort in food and have used that to self-medicate my troubles away. I'm working on developing better habits and am learning to stop myself from eating while I'm upset or in pain.  I developed a game plan for myself that has been helping. 

When I go to reach for food that isn't on my daily plan or isn't at the right time of day, I make sure I double check how I'm feeling. My way of thinking is that if you saw a friend or family member doing something that might not be good for them, you would double check and ask if they are ok, right? Why can't we care about ourselves like that? Take a moment before ordering that cheeseburger and fries or having a chocolate bar, I am training myself to think it through... what's triggering this?  Did I drink water today? What's my pain level at? Am I upset, stressed, tired, bored or lonely? Am I truly hungry? Will a healthy snack do? If I still want the food that isn't a part of my food plan, I make myself wait about 20 minutes and I am usually able to postpone my craving and I put it "on the list" for a treat meal on the weekend. 

I've heard a lot of pepole say then have a "cheat meal" on the weekend, but I hate the way that sounds, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong... what a load of nonsense.  I prefer to think of it as a "treat meal" where I can completely enjoy my treat, I don't have to feel bad about having a meal that I love.  I will often choose two items for the weekend that I wouldn't normally have as a part of my regular food plan. I try not to have my two treats in the same meal so that I can keep my calories reasonable.  My main rule is that no binging is allowed.  I plan to really enjoy my treat.  This is not a binge or a cheat... those leave you feeling bad about yourself and take any of the enjoyment of the food.  If I'm selecting two treats, I will make sure that one isn't as calorie packed as the other to try and give some balance there. 

During the week, in my moments of cravings, I jot down food that I would love to have.  On the weekend I see no problem in selecting my favorite treat and incorporating this into my normal eating plan.  I will have my pulled pork sandwich with salad instead of fries.  If fries are my treat choice I would have them  as a "stand alone" treat where they are the main focus and I can enjoy each and every fry.  I like to make my main food craving my "treat focus" with or as my meal.   I allow myself to enjoy it, I allow myself to feel good about having the strength to be in control of my food choices.   I think of this as my win/win approach to food.  It's one day at a time, one meal at a time.  I stop once I am full (goes back to the "no binge" rule) and I never feel guilty.   This is my way to maintain control of my weekly food cravings and enjoying some of my favorite things... hey, it's got me to a 28 lb weight loss so far!